This is a photo of Jackie Stallone, yes Sylvester's mother...one classy lady. She's a rumpologist. If you don't know what that is, well, you should look into it because it just might save your life one day.
rumpology: Rumpology is divination by reading the lines, crevices and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand.
The American astrologer Jackie Stallone claims on her website that Rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by the Babylonians and the Indians (although she provides no source or evidence for this claim). Stallone has revived rumpology in modern culture and according to her left and right butt cheeks reveal a person's past and future, respectively.
Blind German clairvoyant Ulf Buck has also studied the details of human buttocks and he claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks. According to Beck "[a]n apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life. A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth.
I mean, if that doesn't convince you to go see a rumpologist, I don't know what will...